Can you keep a secret? Can you keep a secret Rudy? Or do you ignore the questions popping out from every angle inside your head till you could vomit all the questions swimming through your head but still without an answer. But then ask yourself. Is it worth sacrificing for? Is it worth dying for? Coming back to reality, you saw a dying man, so blissful but he had to go. Why do the people like him who has every right to live dies when they're so comfortable with everyone he meets? And the people who gave up long time ago get to live? It's like God saying ''No kid you're not done yet. There are still brighter days for you to grab hold of. There are beautiful skies, extraordinary landscapes, wonderful people and so much things to do.''
Sometimes you feel like you deserve a punch right at the face to avoid negative thoughts from spilling out from the mouth. The friends might say don't be stupid. An old man would have said go ahead kid because he knows very much that he would do anything to be young again. I just don't get it. You think your hurt but you're not. It's all a test. You deserve so so much more. Why is it so hard to be as happy as those children laughing when an adult does a funny face gesture. I want that back. I just don't get myself. I do want to learn but I want to learn fast so I can put all those stupid miseries aside and start fresh.
I don't want to be just like everybody else. I want to be different. Even if my plans are failing, just let me hope that this plan works because this is the only one I have right now. If I had another one, maybe I'll take into consideration, so for now just let me be hopeful. Even if I keep a thousand of bottles filled with my tears, I am hopeful one day, I would be so happy that everywhere I go, the light shines on me and it spreads like a huge mirror to others so they could smile no matter how dull or shitty that day is for them. They deserve it. You deserve it.
