As I walk into the old yellow architectural building, I recognised its never-ending rainbow coloured traditional lanterns dangling onto thick black electrical wires and the balcony naturally tied with thousand of white moonflowers. I could hear faint sobbing from above like a lone wolf howling under a full moon on top of the highest cliff because of grief. Then actual tears fell right onto my working shoes. I couldn't help but look into the unstarry sky and so happened I saw you. You were tearing up at the edge of the balcony on the fourth floor with all the lights in your room dimmed like an abandoned lighthouse seeking for comfort from its keeper. 'Was I the keeper?', I thought.
Cigarette ashes were gently dropping like snow from winter and you were up there with a Audrey Hepburn crystallised posture with a damped cigarette pursed at the side of your cherry lips. Makeup and eyeliner smudged everywhere. I could tell you were slowly becoming a game of Jenga where piece by piece of the high rise wooden blocks were slowly being pushed or pulled away.
Your saliva like spider web, they formed like moist silver thread, dripping like coffee brew onto the ground floor. The moon had made diamonds around your cheeks and I wanted to blow dry those away so that no one could see them...except for me because I have this theory that to see people when they were vulnerable is to actually see the true depth of a person's feelings. I wanted that to be revealed more often by people like an open book but hiding from it had always been the better side.
I've heard your mumbles before which I know it was your said prayer as a Catholic and I also know that these things happened late at night. I assumed you thought no one would noticed you because you were slowly floating away once that state comes back.
Trust me. I have carefully thought of unlimited ways to give you my life jacket because I know you were drowning with an anchor weighing about 200 tonnes strapped around both of your ankles. But I waited, I waited because I always had this fixed thought that a sign will appear when a person needed help. I tracked the time every single day and recorded a log for the times you went being the way you were and started analysing but then I discovered..I was like that too.