I'm blind. All the time. Tick-tok tick-tok tick-tok. Often I don't see I'm playing an ignorant and unmindful role, I'm just trying to impress the people.  And the thing is I know damn right that I'm not that type of person to be playing this role. It's not normal.I just get carried away with a small glance or an informal gesture or message from another person then everything will change. Every colour and every pattern alter so fast until I don't realize the impact till now. I see the world indifferently. My pair of eyes has been blinded by the shine of comparison. The thing is we humans compare every single detail with others. From top to bottom, from inside and out. I was slowly poisoning my own mind, already fragile mind with expectations.

It's stupidity. It's really stupidity. I don't get myself most of the time but who does? Nah don't give the nonsense that I should know because I really don't know. Don't tell me to grow up because growing up is not as easy as ABC. It's complex and I can't stand it. The thing is I want something you guys don't. I want a hopeful heart and mind. That's all. I want to stand my ground with a heart and mind so pure that not even a small dust can dirty the white clean surface. It's so pure that it illuminates every second when I awake from my sleep. I don't want to get fooled by anyone anymore because it hurts. It burns. It poisons. It breaks. I'm done And you know what's scary? Changes. Feelings change. Thoughts change. People change. I changed.

I'm not myself lately and lately, I'm lost...and lately, I will be found..slowly..no rush.