"I am not a graceful person. I am not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2 a.m., gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don’t belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn’t happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don’t see the lightning, but you hear the echoes."
- Anna Peters.

09

Often we assume that friendship has an electric response right after you become nice and kind to others. You have a thought that karma has the answer of giving something pleasant to you . You do good, you'll feel the good vibe and let fate decide to sparkle your day; today or tomorrow. I hope I am right.

I'll be honest I seek for appreciation or a pat on the back with a thank you each time I lend a hand to a friend. I don't see that value anymore. Most of the time, when I see people say thank you or sorry, they'll be saying as though it is a simple hello. They don't know the real meaning of the words. They're just saying it for the sake of saying it because that's the way people have been doing it. It is equivalent to not even saying it because they don't even mean it.

It is sad to see after being disappointed at them, when they need help, they just come through your door as though nothing had happen or they'll be sending a text in a sense of urgency which they never had before. What is this? Some kind of  appreciation we have around here.

81

What is there to feel when your friend has just gone for a bone marrow test after  announcing he has leukaemia a few days ago. I just can’t accept this right now. I just cant. Why? like really why

80

We often look back or ahead too much that we forget to be thankful with what we already have. That’s just one of the saddest thing I can ever experience at the moment ; not enjoying as much as I can with what I already have. We really do take things for granted and only realize our mistake when time is not on our side. I want to change all that. Now.

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

― A.A. Milne

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

13

We are preoccupied with time. If we could learn to love space as deeply as we are now obsessed with time, we might discover a new meaning in the phrase to live like men. -Edward Abbey

Firstly, Happy New Year! Secondly, I am afraid as time is passing too quickly. I am going for the monotonous role so bear with me.

1)The Fall. It is extremely difficult to get back up walking with the chin up when things start to crash down but I am learning how.

2) Independence. Well, some times, the only solution is within us and not others. It's time consuming but if you found it, the inner strength makes us to do better in any task.

3) Friends. They got your back. They are the best goddamn distraction you'll ever have.

4) Sentimentalist. Everyone is gonna have a sudden emotional breakdown ; in the car, in the room, in the library but it gets better. I don't know how but that's the way it is. It is okay not to be okay.

5) Plans. Not all go according to plans. Even if you have a Plan B or C or D.

6) Movies. I always wanted to be those calm ones, heroes, the successor like the actors in movies - the truth is we're not like them but we can try. We're pretty messed up on the outside but we're definitely, without doubt, beautiful inside.

7) Love. Love is dangerous.

8) Family. I know I don't show much of my love to all my family members but I love them so much. Evenings golf session with my dad is one of the coolest and relaxing thing I've done so far with him.

9) Leaving. They leave but they'll come back. I promise.

10) Have a goal. No wait have more but be realistic at the same time.( telling to myself)

11) Photographs. TAKE AS MANY AS POSSIBLE LIKE THERE'S NO EFFING TOMORROW. You won't regret a year later.

12) Forgive. Honesty. Patience. Kindness. Love. Passion. Working on that.

13) Understand. the people, the place, the history behind everything.