I)
I once read about fireflies when I was younger in a magazine at a
café nearby Victoria Street. Mom was with her friends conveying mundane
information about her latest beauty products to her potential customers from
another town. I was usually situated at the corner of the shop eating countless
pastries by myself. Frankly speaking, I was a fat kid back then until one day,
my father decided that enough is enough. Dad was in the army so he treated me
like a soldier from the next day onwards. One time, he threw a bucket of ice
cold water on me because I was stubborn enough to play dead on the bed. Well,
not literally but you get what I mean.
That day I remembered flipping through the pages of the magazine as
swiftly as possible to think that I could read faster than anyone in the coffee
shop. As I was catching up to the speed of sound, something mesmerizing caught
my attention. I stopped at that specific page and took a long glance at a
beautiful picture of a lightning bug. One of the passage mentioned that light
was radiated by the firefly’s abdomen called the ‘lantern’. I was amazed about
how beautiful it was because these tiny little creatures exist like floating
lanterns moving around aimlessly in the garden at our backyard.
From that day onwards, I would routinely sneak out from my room past
midnight and try to catch them using just a small torchlight and an empty
strawberry jam jar. I'll be running around at night with the intention that I
was catching stars in the garden. The night used to be like a fairytale dream
and I wished that every night will be longer than the mornings we all have
everyday. When I was tired of chasing these so called stars, I would sit on the
wooden staircase leading up to my dwelling. Subsequently, I would form a circle
using all my fingers on my right hand to portray it as the lens of a camera
where my right eye could see through the hollow area clearly. My left thumb,
positioned as high as my shoulders will then move up and down while the rest of
the fingers fold inwards of the palm. The notion was to pretend that I
was taking multiple snapshots of the harmless fireflies with an imaginary
camera. Till today, I wonder where did it all go. I miss my eyes turning
into diamonds when I see fireflies. I miss the nights where it will be so quiet
till you could hear the harmonic sound of nature. I miss the sound of the wind
howling and hidden species behind the bushes and trees. I miss the fantasy I
had visioned when I was younger. Maybe that was it. I went past a different
cycle in life.
II)
A good remembrance into the past was all I needed while having a smoke as
I sat on the same exact spot on the staircase. Without anyone looking, I tried
to snap photograph memories again through my green eyes but the spark within me
was long gone. I even did the exact same gestures like I used to when I was
much smaller but nothing felt the same anymore. So I went back daydreaming till
another set of memories flood through the gates of my present sight. I was
suddenly back to the same place but in a different time.
Nights during that period were a little bit chilly because it was already
close to winter. I reminisced that the lights around the whole
neighbourhood suddenly went out leaving us in total darkness. It was because of
a power shortage. The situation had been occurring consistently nowadays due to
the poor management of the local council in town. My dad and mom went out to
help the homeless people on the streets by giving them warm clothes to sleep
in. Once they left, my young brother and I, both lit a cigarette each so that
we would be able to occupy sufficient 'oxygen' in our body system. After that,
we went to check on Mr. Davidson. He was a 72 year old man who lived by himself
in his cottage behind our house. He was a kind and generous man who always gave us vintage cigars imported
from Italy when we visited him. He used to always say ‘You boys oughta stop
smoking now’. But eventually, a standard small box of 8 cigars would appear in my hands.
At most, my brother and I would stay approximately 15 minutes talking to him until he starts shooing us away. When we returned to our house, we immediately tried the brown covered aromatic cigars that would replenish my whole body with something extra special. We then will pretend we were fireflies at night and would usually walk in circles or dance in a made-up tribal way in the garden with other fireflies around us under a thick blanket of faded grey clouds. Some times, I wonder whether the fireflies believed that the ignited cigars were one of them because it seems that the glowing orange colour were kind of similar to the lights emitted by them.
III)
It is publicly known that my brother and I were not the talkative kind compared to
other siblings in town. We never fought since young and had always showed respect
towards each other. There was always a mutual understanding amongst us but
mostly people assumed we hated each other. No we do not hate each other. How
could you say something like that. I love my brother. I still remember that
night visibly because that was the night everything changed. I recalled telling
him just one sentence that made him happy and sad at the same time.
‘Tonight, we are gonna be the youngest we’ll ever be....but tomorrow, we
grow up okay?’. He couldn't help but cried and nodded his head.
Memories like these burn like hell in me but I still keep it anyway. Once
I regained my consciousness, I walked out slowly from the dwelling and promised
to never sell the house to anyone.
