As I walk into the old yellow architectural
building, I recognised its never-ending rainbow coloured traditional lanterns
dangling onto thick black electrical wires and the balcony naturally tied with
thousand of white moonflowers. I could hear faint sobbing from above like a
lone wolf howling under a full moon on top of the highest cliff because of
grief. Then actual tears fell right onto my working shoes. I couldn't help but
look into the unstarry sky and so happened I saw you. You were tearing up at
the edge of the balcony on the fourth floor with all the lights in your room
dimmed like an abandoned lighthouse seeking for comfort from its keeper. 'Was I
the keeper?', I thought.
Cigarette ashes were gently dropping like
snow from winter and you were up there with a Audrey Hepburn crystallised
posture with a damped cigarette pursed at the side of your cherry lips. Makeup
and eyeliner smudged everywhere. I could tell you were slowly becoming a game
of Jenga where piece by piece of the high rise wooden blocks were slowly being
pushed or pulled away.
Your saliva like spider web, they formed
like moist silver thread, dripping like coffee brew onto the ground floor. The
moon had made diamonds around your cheeks and I wanted to blow dry those away
so that no one could see them...except for me because I have this theory that
to see people when they were vulnerable is to actually see the true depth of a
person's feelings. I wanted that to be revealed more often by people like an
open book but hiding from it had always been the better side.
I've heard your mumbles before which I know
it was your said prayer as a Catholic and I also know that these things
happened late at night. I assumed you thought no one would noticed you because
you were slowly floating away once that state comes back.
Trust me. I have carefully thought of
unlimited ways to give you my life jacket because I know you were drowning with
an anchor weighing about 200 tonnes strapped around both of your ankles. But I
waited, I waited because I always had this fixed thought that a sign will
appear when a person needed help. I tracked the time every single day and
recorded a log for the times you went being the way you were and started
analysing but then I discovered..I was like that too.
