White Light

I think of all times we have been switching to godknows how many different treatments in various incidents, there will be a trend of what’s going to happen next. After an unfixed period of time (it may be a year or so), the doc is going to say the same thing with a straight face, ‘The drug is not working anymore’. If you are lucky enough, he may paraphrase a few words or arrange the sentence structure so that the not so good news can rest on top of our heads gently and lightly.

And when money is involved in these kind of situations, knowing that there are so many existing debts to pay such as the ineffective drugs, insurance, referrals, PET scans, blood tests etc, it is time to realize that the presence of the bad times are really happening.

'It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light' - Aristotle Onassis

Reminder

On Tuesday, I was driving back from office in the city centre late at night in a rush state as usual to home. The roads were emptier than usual as if The Sandman did his job perfectly whereby everyone had already gone to bed and were sleeping soundly, ready for the next day. The orange coloured beam from street lights shone onto the straight highway road, the engine roaring loudly in my car as the adometer's arrow pointed to 170km/h and everything else were wandered through the tight space of the car.

Then, I shifted my attention to the music that was playing on the radio. It was the beginning of U2's I Still Havent Found What I'm Looking For. So I started humming the song at first and then started singing throughout the entire song. I knew the lyrics well but just on that day, the lyrics were so expressive and it felt like I knew exactly what the singer was really singing about.The music that night was melodious, calming and it just brought about the sentimental state of myself. Whilst listening to the music being played, I slowed down the car and moved to the second lane throughout the entire song. After it finished, a heavy downpour of thoughts started filling up my head.

I realized that I was so caught up with work and the social experiment I would like to call it that I have really avoided all cost of events that were ‘real’ and happening to me. But music…music is magic. It sends us a reminder to tell ourselves who we are at the end of the day.