"Well, let’s say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait but the lion doesn’t come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe."
“I’d wait for the lion.”
“That’s why I worry about you.” - Beginners, 2010 

"Hush, my sweet. These tornadoes are for you." - Richard Siken 

"Meanwhile in my head I’m undergoing open-heart surgery." - Anne Sexton 

Resolution

When we were young, we always thought that life was simple and equitable just as plucking the yellow petals from a sunflower at a secret garden without permission and getting away with it or playing hide and seek with a companion at a simple maze for hours. What I mean by simple in actuality? Go to school, have some good laughs with your friends, do a bit of your hobbies, maybe study and that's that.

We were blinded by our youth, our childish acts, our false realism of how life should be. Back then, our parents were sacrificing on how they could make ours and theirs meaningful, spiritual, bliss. They had a bag full of weights on their shoulders and the problems were handled consistently and persistently with obvious complaints shown only amongst themselves.

While our acknowledgement of theirs were somewhere else, we took everything for granted and embellish ourselves with selfishness, volatile sentiments and aggressive words. These unimportant foolishness, it can start a forest fire, climate change or civil wars. Well, you may question me and say it is metaphorically untrue that my perception is just because of my awful current state. My answer is Yes and No.

Having that said, yes because I don't think I can do it at all. I worry because I am only human. It is natural to feel fear or anxiety to grow up and welcome what the world has to offer. Maybe it is the after 2am thoughts which are untangling and dwindling my consciousness and self-esteem. I don't know. It is a shaky post. Next, no because it is not the magnificent now that has brought me here. I have been kept silent on my thoughts for far too long but that doesn't mean I don't recycle it in my head. It is on-going. It is a cycle. 

In the end, fairness and comfort are both a lost ghost, nowhere to be found; like coins at the bottom of a marble stone fountain; the unseen true love stuck as a notion but not a feeling; petty thoughts about a political change in Syria that were never said; a baby never born.