Nostalgic Prince Charming
It wasn't suppose to be this hard you know, life. One day you are that five year old Prince Charming who is addicted to only dark Cadbury chocolate with sweet black raisins hidden within solidified milk, cocoa and butter; not forgetting fizzy drinks where I would shake the aluminium can vigorously to annoy the beast living inside that would unleash some gruesome gassy bubbles once I have opened it.
Often I would discard any edible stuff that is related to the colour orange and green. Yucky stuffs I would say. They call it salad if you mix the colours with each other with mayonaise. If you are lucky there will be the colour of red and purple juxtaposing each other. I swear to God the smell was similar to a skunk emitting the rotten liquid odour that will last for a thousand years and its taste will be worst than vomit.
I remember clearly when I was a child, my parents would take me to New Heights Theme Park near Avenue Forth Street away from the bustling city. Both kings and queens with their little prince returning to their kingdom where excitement, tranquility and freedom were measureless, limitless and the throne belong to everyone who enter the massive front door that says ' Welcome Home'. It is true. It was home. My beloved home. I could spend there for hours even days if my parents had not mentioned dinner time to me because I couldn't feel the hunger for food or the thirst for water because they were brilliant distractions - the cotton candy machines, the bumper cars, the ferris wheel, mini roller coaster ride for kids.
The only thing I was scared of was going to the dentist. I hated Mr. Clearwater for drilling people's teeth. Can't he see that he is hurting people. It is awful to look at peoples' faces holding their sore jaw as they walk out from his torture chamber. My dad had to extract a teeth one day and I had to follow him since we were going to the park but I remained outside at the reading corner because it was better that way. After when my dad came out, he smiled crookedly. 'How was it dad?' I asked. He replied 'Like an ant bite kiddo.' I jerked a little when he said that.
Deep Thoughts from Prince Charming
Trying to revive a memory from our yesterdays is just like saving a patient's live from an unknown disease. It's hard I know. It will take forever but sometimes if we are lucky, the memory will somehow crawl its way back to us suddenly and helplessly just like a sudden hurricane in Texas. The whirlwind dragging along from roots and dead leaves, then magnetising branches and other parts of the trees and subsequently, forming a massive eucalyptus tree which represents the growth of memories that were lost deep within our galactic rainforest that will show up out of the blue into our pair of eyes. We will daydream with sunlight pouring onto our faces as we gaze out at the transparent glass window at our homes, subconsciously collecting fragments of memories like colourful legos ready to be build into a vivid movie scene. After that, we will reminiscence and realise how much we want to go back to the past. We will be desperately demanding and seeking for an explanation or will be bidding for something even better- Wanting back our love ones who were once everything to us. Wanting them back into our lonely pair of arms and fragile hearts. Some had it bad, some worst, some had it good, some better but it doesn't matter how it impacted our lives for God sake.
The past is bitter, it is really like someone dying and you want them back so badly but you just can't. It's an unforgiven sin that you can't change. You just have to keep your chin up because it is impossible. Just like a memory dying. But look on the bright side. There is still so much of love to be felt, so much of happiness and kindness to clean someone's soul, so much of forgiving to be done. It will not take minutes nor hours to rule out something important like this. It takes years so we will eventually learn and appreciate it. We will learn the hard way so we have brighter days to look for, amazing people to be with and one day, something extraordinary beautiful about us will influence millions around the world to feel what's like to be a someone nonchalant, jubilant and anti-tremulous again.
The Present, The Future
A conclusion? An end to a book? Just know that I did not die that day. I manage to get proper sleep till today. I couldn't pull the trigger of that shiny silver harmonica pistol at that time. It was definitely a God's test and I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I didn't want to be a lonely ghost in a small town. I wanted to be Mr Cyrus Paxton living in a big city of another country, working hard and earning more than the world could offer. Maybe one day you could see me at the Ferremount Station with the same old rugged look or maybe it was just someone who looked like me or was it my very own ghost? (Hints: I am already 38 so that is obviously not me but I like leaving something behind so the people living in that small town will still talk about until forever. Let it be a myth or a legend or whatever) because everyone thought I was dead even my parents except for my wife of course. Mrs Olivia Paxton, a dentist just like her dad. FYI Dentists still scare the shit outta me. What I do for a living? I am a writer.. writing this to you.
