Goodbye To My Santa Monica Dream

Lesson Learned

2012-02-11T14:47:00.003+07:00

Sometimes people are beautiful.

Not in looks.

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are.

TBYL

2012-02-10T23:45:00.006+07:00

The long hours of talking on the bed, in starbucks, in the car and etc...It's...really awesome. I'll be there soon. A year. A frigging year. Just wait for me!

Last time I saw my cousin was in 2008. We're almost 19 now and discovered a lot shit while growing up. A whole lot of douchebag stories we exchanged. Her, I can trust. I'll miss you!

Trees

2012-02-06T07:36:00.000+07:00

It's not easy taking family photos. For everyone to get ready is like ... haha

Chapter 64

2012-01-30T22:55:00.003+07:00

Hotel 66

2012-01-29T22:02:00.002+07:00

Dream

2012-01-26T02:06:00.000+07:00

The only way for me to communicate with my grandma was in English and she knows little of that language. I think she really made a lot of effort to communicate to me. She did it brilliantly I would say. She took good care of me.. definitely. No matter how mischievous I was, I'm still alive right? I definitely miss her and my grandfather. Although my grandad didn't talk much but I know he's one hell of a guy. Eve of Chinese new year, my aunt brought a small purple luggage. The edges which were made of metal was rusty and the colour was fading.

What's in that purple luggage bag? Priceless photos and a few letters and you might think it's funny but there's also a passport of my late grandfather. I saw the biodata details on the passport. I'm taller than him now ;'). He needs...I need him to see how much this small boy grown to be a 19 year old who is the tallest in the Seah family but Darren is getting close but I'm still winning (: .

Looking at those photographs..looking at my goofy dad haha. I think in the future maybe the younger ones will say I'm goofy haha. Generation Y and generation X don't click at all. So much of difference.

A lot say I looked like my dad. I don't see the resemblance. I saw the photographs of him when young .Dude, he really looked like my brother when young. The eyes and face structure. I have my mother's eyes but otherwise I don't know. I only noticed the eyes quite some time ago. Quite stupid actually on how I manage to find out but well...ok i shall stop here then haha.

It Started With A Whisper!

2012-01-25T09:10:00.001+07:00

Day 0

2012-01-23T09:00:00.002+07:00

Mr Mental

2012-01-22T00:24:00.002+07:00

After kindergarten, I usually will be at my granddad's paint shop. That's where I have all my imagination expressed on pieces of cardboard by drawing and colouring. All shapes and colour of 'imagination' usually kept pouring out from my head like a tap water running without turning it off. You give an empty paper to me,it'll end up with messy red or blue paints on it, crushed at the sides and scissored in the middle if I'm in the mood of creating a massive door of an unrealistic house. Unrealistic but still that's my house. I always told myself whatever I had drawn on that piece of cardboard or paper, it's mine. A box-shaped car or a crazy huge robot ..all mine.

But now it's different.I don't have that feeling of wanting anything at all right now. Cars, a house or whatever. Like seriously. I'm mental.

After all, family is forever.

2012-01-20T22:03:00.002+07:00

A lot of you must be craving for the mouth watering dishes served during reunion dinner. Some might be eyeing on the delicious, crispy biscuits bottled into a few jars where are usually placed in the living room. The worst part is that sometimes you need somebody to help you open that darn jar because it was tightly closed before like a sword in a really huge stone. Lastly, kids or maybe not just kids, mostly everyone who's still young will be waiting for the red packets given by the married couples.

Frankly speaking, I don't feel that enthusiastic about all that. I mean it's good to receive all these and be thankful for it but it's just all so mundane. I'm used to it so I don't really have that pair of eyes which sparkle upon looking at all those stuff.

What I expect from this year's Chinese New Year will always be the feeling of happiness around family. The spontaneous and random jokes from uncles and aunties, the beautiful smiles from everyone in the family, everyone dressing up so elegant and posh and the laughing spirit around the family which can easily bring down the whole roof of the house.Years passed, family grows bigger, cousins become bigger. I've got this cousin named Darren and my god he's already growing as tall as me. I like this moments where that little boy turns out to be a teenager then a man.

I'm already 19 this year. Teenage years will be gone by next year..I can't express how awful I feel right now because it's just not me anymore. Like I'm wearing a mask everywhere I go.Anyway, Happy CNY armpits!

2012-01-20T12:05:00.002+07:00

Angus Stone - Broken Brights

Say

2012-01-18T23:18:00.002+07:00

Money doesn’t buy you happiness. Chasing your dreams will. Know the difference. Let yourself dream. How do you dream? All you do is you confess your future. Confessing what is not there yet. Ignore your circumstances. Admitting what you want.

''Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose''

2012-01-17T23:29:00.008+07:00

''Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose''

2012-01-16T23:18:00.000+07:00

You know how life works? You become a good listener .You give time to another person. and she fucks around.

2012-01-14T11:54:00.001+07:00

Boy - Waitress
The Tallest Man On Earth - The Wild Hunt
Ben Howard - Keep Your Head Up
Chuck Ragan - Meet You In The Middle
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Can’t Hold Us
The Naked And Famous - Young Blood
Angus & Julia Stone - Yellow Brick Road
Colbie Caillat - The Little Things
Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
Foster The People - Color On The Walls (Don’t Stop)
Gypsy And The Cat - Time To Wander
Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
First Aid Kit - Will Of The River
Mumford And Sons - The Cave
Two Door Cinema Club - Something Good Can Work
Noah Gundersen - Honest Songs
The Joy Formidable - Endtapes
The Fugees - No Woman, No Cry

Timeless

2012-01-13T00:52:00.000+07:00

You don't need a religion to know whether something that you're doing is good or bad.You know. I know. So yea be rational. Always be rational and humble.

2012-01-10T23:09:00.003+07:00

http://boulevards64.tumblr.com/

Silver H

2012-01-07T03:31:00.000+07:00

''I loved her. All of her. I had never loved her more than I did at that moment.
I loved the thin white scar just above her eyebrow, a reminder of a childhood accident with a baseball bat, kept like a secret under the black veil of hair. I loved her faraway brown eyes and her decency and her bravery. I loved the fact that she could keep love in her heart even after love had gone. And I loved the fact that she was not fucking another man.. I may have laughed out loud. Did I really do that, or did I just smile? I don't know''

2012-01-06T00:34:00.001+07:00

Dear Monash, please send that offer letter. I hate waiting. My patience is boiling .Thank you~!

2012-01-06T00:30:00.002+07:00

Right The Stars - You Know The Way

Dreamer 2

2012-01-04T23:35:00.002+07:00

It is not often you have a dream of yourself dying. I always wonder how in the first place did I get into the dream or I can say nightmare. The fire sensation of living suddenly gets dimmer and dimmer. Seconds are slower in these kind of situations. It's like a split second is just as slow as an hour or waiting for a boring teacher to finish her lecture. Then, I see myself intentionally closing the pair of my eyes as if doing this can suddenly seek for an answer on why life is unfair.But the answer is life has been and has always been unfair. There are no answers.
It's sickening to describe a death. I usually skip articles of people getting brutally murdered. So in my dream, I felt the rush of wind coming in from the outside of the car. The car was upside down, my face flat on the ground and fire. and?.. and the end. Just two sentence and it felt like hours.

Shapes & Sizes

2011-12-31T01:11:00.004+07:00

Be different or be like everyone else. We all have big pictures in our head. We all have dreams. We all want them to be real. We all want all the support we can get to make the dreams real. We all want success. Replace 'We' with I .

I want to be different. I have a dream. I want it to be real. I want all the support I can get. I want to be successful.

I almost touched it, but then it slipped right through my hands,
Could almost see it, then it slipped right out my mind

NO. TELL YOURSELF NO MORE REGRETTING. TELL YOURSELF YOU'RE STRONG. STRONGER THAN BEFORE. STRONG AS A BRICK. RUDY SEAH YOU'RE STRONG.

2011

2011-12-30T12:49:00.002+07:00

Every single thing you do is magic baby, Every little thing that you do is cool Every little thing you do is fashionably hip. Even when you’re mixing greens with blues

Walk & Talk

2011-12-28T23:19:00.000+07:00

Everything breaks easily. Your bones, glass, your mom's favourite vase, cars, your neighbours window etc. oh I forgot about another thing - relationships.

What stays permanent is clear. The ones you see almost everyday. Family.

Don't think you're alone. Don't feel you're alone. Don't be stupid.

She's Making A List

2011-12-25T23:16:00.000+07:00

2011-12-22T11:58:00.001+07:00

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are

Island

2011-12-22T00:52:00.002+07:00

Breathe

2011-12-21T19:27:00.001+07:00

I'm always afraid of changes. If I like something, I'll never think of altering anything for better or worst. I'll stick to the original plan. Believing that my plan works has it's disadvantage too. What if my plan fails and nothing good is left, just sadness blowing around me like a whirlwind, leaving me aimless, hopeless and confused.

My parents.. have been advising me non stop. Over and over again. I got noone else to run to. Even how stupid or ignorant I can be, arguments are normal and the situation often gets watered suddenly to ease the fire..maybe a slight spark but it's a mild one. I'm trying not to make a fool out of myself in the future but I don't think I'm trying as hard as I can.

Sacrifice is always an option but I'll find a longer way which most of the time ends up with nothing. I always feel like I'm drowning in unnecessary and heavy thoughts. Some say I think too much and express too little.

I'm taking too much time. I know. I'm making my parents worry more. I know. I'm having a hard time digesting all of these mess too you know?

Ryan Adams - Desire

2011-12-17T03:14:00.000+07:00

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water’s higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
That you run and never tire.
Desire

Hours

2011-12-17T03:06:00.000+07:00

Had an awful day today. Like one of the worst.

The night really transformed the whole situation to a funny ending. 3 idiots talking and talking and the stories were never ending. A tap continuously allowing a stream of water to flow out. We had the coffees. We had the time. We had the night.

Fast

2011-12-15T20:47:00.001+07:00

Sometimes I feel like telling you Oh I'm sorry. I forgot . I only existed when you want something.

Home

2011-12-09T15:04:00.004+07:00

Like the mother and daughter, we all have those moments where we neglect our parents, too busy living our own life, we often forget that on the other side our parents are working hard and have struggled to give us as good a life as they can.

Like the son, pressures from school can be the biggest struggle for young people. While it's important, sometimes stepping away to find that true peace keeps us going. Whether it's in art and photography, making videos, singing, dancing, or even video games with friends.
Like the father, jobs and financial worries can bring us down. Especially in these tough times, when so much is uncertain, the greatest gift we have is knowing that there is one constant, family.

Little

2011-12-07T23:06:00.002+07:00

We would take the binoculars and see how far dad's shot is. We'll try counting how many flew over the net and will shout the number of balls that flew out . People would stare but dad would still concentrate on his positioning and swings.Most of the time, I would observe how far his shot is and hoped that one day I'll whack that stupid white ball out of that place. It's quite annoying. It would be like world peace after a war. I find it really stupid now .

2011-12-07T20:11:00.001+07:00

Death Cab For Cutie - Brothers On A Hotel Bed

Death Cab For Cutie - Marching Bands Of Manhattan

Slide

2011-12-06T12:12:00.016+07:00

I became a spy yesterday while waiting for the doctor in the clinic. So silent I was, looking outside the magic mirror. The ones where you can see the outside from inside but not the other way. Two small Indian boys caught my sight. Simply enjoying their food silently and yea haha talking excitedly like the world is gonna end any minute from where they had started. I stood there staring and listening to their conversation.

I was a stranger but looking at them made me think of the good times I had with my brother.Those were the days... It triggers my memory of a'' brother for life code''.The code in plain simple English '' I got your back and you got mine. Young, free and wild. 3 words to describe us. Little bunch of rascals and troublemakers we were. Yes I was worst.

I never knew why we had to grow up. I never wanted to be an adult. Always had this crazy imagination that one day I'll be like Peterpan. I'll never grow old and boring..I won't be that old man who sits on the bench during the evenings in the park watching the sun sets....I don't want to be Carl Fredricksen !

I want a chain of adventures leading to another adventure.Me able to float in thin air with just magic dust sprinkled on me. Most importantly, expectations is excluded. Expecting someone, expecting a dream to be real...No nthing.

It's awfully sad when something ends,something that you were once proud of. It takes a lot of time to be happy when there's a new beginning. In the process, struggling to be a better person or trying to accept the truth is just as ugly as falling down from a ten story high building. Then, everyone has to grow up, move along..

Maroon 5 - Runaway

2011-12-05T00:46:00.002+07:00

I’ve taken time and thinking I don’t think its fair for us
To turn around and say goodbye
I have this feeling and I’ve finally found the words to say
But I cant tell you if you turn around and run away, run away

Tokyo

2011-12-04T00:05:00.000+07:00

Society and their expectations.Endless fake smiles. I'm tired of all these. Someday I'll just go away. You'll see.

Newton

2011-12-02T23:04:00.002+07:00

There’s a place I go

When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea

Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

Orange

2011-12-02T01:17:00.001+07:00

One of dad's closest friend, one of the best person I have ever met, one of the best motivator to me towards basketball, one of funniest and wisest person but you do not want him to be angry do you?

When somebody shoots and scores.The amazing thing after that if Mr. Yap claps, that's like the best feeling ever because it's more than just a clap!

2011-12-01T14:01:00.000+07:00

Dreamer

2011-11-27T02:23:00.001+07:00

If you're gonna fall... Just fall in love with me

2011-11-27T02:04:00.003+07:00

Snow Patrol - New York

Part 2

2011-11-27T01:51:00.001+07:00

Old Yellow Bricks

2011-11-26T12:43:00.001+07:00

John's already on the plane to Sarawak.We had a small gathering for him last night. Barbeque!

John is one of a kind..His jokes still makes me laugh when I think about it. If you meet him, I'm sure you'll like him because his really friendly and funny...Carpe Diem..he would say ...a Good bye...but it's not necessary a goodbye. It's just a chapter of a book..Many more chapters to go..Many more adventures and jokes to hear.

2011-11-25T21:43:00.003+07:00

Switchfoot - Restless

2011-11-24T18:19:00.000+07:00

Publish Pos

Blue Man

2011-11-18T16:03:00.008+07:00

Most people are really nice and helpful by nature, it should be like that but obviously not all situations have solutions .Some people just forget about what they say as their answer after some time after the progress. Man, I tell you, reality can be an ass. It's just how we accept it. It's God test to see how much we value our self-conscious and patience.Well, Patience is a beautiful art don't you think? Imagine an idiot screaming at your face and you standing in front of him, eyes looking at his and after that scene, you move on because it's not important. It's not important to have emotions; sad or angry over that crappy situation. It's not important to think you're not worth it. Some might find you a useless trash but to others your presence matters. And that's who you should be with.

..Sometimes you can't have that person you love.A lover? that's how you describe that special person ...but take it like a man. Always keep your chin up. Life is too important for you to get sad over this kind of things. If you're lucky getting her? Well done. If you're unlucky.. Like I said, reality is an ass but I can ensure you that you will definitely find the love..that's the whole purpose.. not the lover..the passion...Then, nothing else matters anymore

Life is a waste. The only time we waste it is the time we spend time thinking we are alone.

2011-11-17T18:32:00.002+07:00

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? . When you close your eyes.. do you see the future? And if you could change your past, would you be ready for the next adventure?"..This can't be the end

2011-11-16T19:33:00.001+07:00

It's weird to see how a slight change of a situation alters everything instantly and drastically. How you wished it to be on the same road your walking but it's just not. Feelings and thoughts get mixed up easily. Every single one of it blended for me to get confused.I want it to be erased.

I don't need someone else's sympathy. Just talk to me like a normal person.

Red

2011-11-16T18:04:00.000+07:00

The Sun

2011-11-14T21:25:00.000+07:00

It's beautiful and so are you

2011-11-14T00:45:00.000+07:00

Everyone wants to be heard and the answer is you having the time to listen and not just hear them speak. It's extraordinary to see how a conversation starts building up slowly and goes on for hours and hours. It's like suddenly talking became so interesting and you start having thoughts that the person you talked to is really really nice and has a really great personality.

Just came back from PD with the college mates.Well, the photos will describe the blissful moment we had when we're in the beach.

2011-11-06T22:32:00.000+07:00

Hammock - I Can Almost See You

Inside It All Feels The Same

2011-10-30T11:54:00.007+07:00

''Inside it all feels the same. Everything looked so real.The faded paints still manage to stick onto the walls of the old buildings. The sound of people running around the open hall. The fine green grass looked so bright. It keeps the dullness of life away and shines the brightly colours of chlorophyll because of the sun. The endless heat given out.The beam allowed many shadows to be formed until I saw my very own shadow, walking near the science lab. The annoying bell had just rung. That means class just ended. I hear the endless laughter of the group of shadows.The laughter so pure that I still managed to remember how extraordinary happy I was back then..so gay..so fresh ..still mischievous as ever . Then I gaze upon the shadows and right away saw myself visible in a familiar uniform again, the old crooked glasses,the red coloured braces, walking on the uneven road towards the canteen. Me playing a fool,being pushed around. I have to say my rotten white shoes still makes me laugh. How did I ever pull it through, not washing my pair of shoes and not let my only mother find out? A question I myself kept thinking. Again,a smile is reborn. ''

I get it . Everything is just happening too quickly. I'm tired and you're bored of me repeating myself how life in high school is just a fairy tale and triumphed to me. I can't hope because it's nonsensical to go back to high school now. Everything feels like the movies now.

How the main character wishes to be in high school because he is having an extremely hard time at work and recently got divorced because he wasn't himself. He wasn't himself because he keeps regretting. The non-stop complaint and tantrums thrown upon his wife. And she...so innocent..still so beautiful had enough. She says '' That's what you only care about...you..yourself..the only words in your bloody dictionary..I,ME,MYSELF..I want a divorce! You should see the picture of the guy,completely lost and shocked. He wept..He lost just about everything and wanted to go back to high school where there were nice and lively friends and teachers. Most importantly, he wanted his mom. The mom..has and had always been there for him. She always had answers. Every morning,food on the table. Every afternoon,food on the table. Every night,food on the table. Life was easy for him. Life was simple..so simple that he was devastated when he had to grow up. Everything changed instantly after years.From good to bad to worst.

''There was this boy. The boy only to be found by it's shadows. He had already graduated high school but he kept going back to high school. All students saw him and wonder 'Why is he still here?" . He answered politely like his mom used to teach him ''....BUT! I'm not done yet ''. The boy soon to be the character above I just mentioned..That boy? Me

Then,the eyes opened. It was a Sunday.

I feel like lunatic now. I really find myself really lost now. I forgot how time and life works. Great partner, both of them.. I still don't understand how people move on. If it was the dream was a show, I'll watch it everyday. For sure I know,life is strange.When I say I don't wanna grow up, I really mean it.

Love is Free

2011-10-28T18:06:00.001+07:00

I know that I can't tell you this light has slowly faded.
Like mail that's never dated from towns still burned and raided.
And lost without a soul, with you forever more.
I'm sorry but I can't tell you I feel like a pattern
Of shapes that will never matter, a color that will never flatter.
It's all gonna' come around. It's all gonna' make your eyes burn.
I really wanna' tell you that love is like a furnace,
It burns in and out of purpose, so hot that it makes me nervous.
So large that it won't cool out. So big that it can't burn out.

I wait sixteen, a Saturday, love.
My heart beats fast and faraway, love.
Your eyes so pure, they never grow up.
You stay with me, we'll never grow up, my love.

2011-10-28T16:56:00.002+07:00

Angels & Airwaves - Saturday Love

2011-10-28T15:28:00.002+07:00

Lost and Found - Katie Herzig

King

2011-10-26T02:22:00.001+07:00

I'm proud to see dad gaining back his swings and rhythm in golf and it earned him 5th place in a charity golf competition for the breast cancer awareness campaign and foundation from Estee Lauder(cosmetics crap) .The man loves his golf,what more can I possibly say?

2011-10-24T19:47:00.004+07:00

Big Scary - Thinking About You

2011-10-23T19:09:00.000+07:00

Explosions In The Sky - Inside It All Feels The Same

Fader

2011-10-21T14:48:00.002+07:00

I never wanted to leave high school. I get emotional and stuff when I think about how it would be like when high school life is over and all those friends you gila-ed with will have their own decision to make and be in another different school.I never like changes. I felt so comfortable bumming around in school.Having a chat like everywhere in school. Bringing the canteen food to a private place where the group can just eat and laugh. Having a routine of owning the whole basketball court and field to ourselves because WE ARE THE SENIORS.Then it ended.I know I cant be 17 forever,

When I first started college.I hated the whole idea where I have to start in January. It was just too soon for me. I still had that old me inside which I wanted it to be burn as soon as possible. One of the stupidest thing that I can do happened.I entered the wrong class on the first day and thank god, I entered the wrong class because I felt so puzzled during ice breaking session with the people there .Then,I realised sth wasnt right and luckily managed to change class on that day itself. G5 was my class and we had 18 girls and 5 boys.So being in an old boys school for 11 years,it will be differently,No more doing crazy stuff like I used to,No more being the noisy one or the really mental one. I have to say, I was quite quiet this year. A lot of things had happened .Good or bad-it changed me a lot and I'm thankful for that.

I'm gonna miss the classmates. Time passed really fast and I feel that it was way faster than last year. I'm gonna miss the teachers, the perverted drawings on the tables, the nerve wrecking presentations and ...just everything. I'm glad to be a part of the class and that I was there at the right moment. This is really one of the chapters I'll definitely cherish forever and hopefully, I'll get to meet up with them soon.

Prom will be coming and the class trip is still on ,Not forgetting finals!

Fool

2011-10-18T21:03:00.000+07:00

Every step taken,he falls.Every story he listens,he's lost.The people around him,he ignores.Every now and then,I hear painful stories from friends and families. I compare to the chapters some people I see everyday and god, the reasons why they're sad is stupid. Even for them to cry is worst. Their sadness are not even close to the ones suffering out there and wish they had lives which is less painful than their current ones. They don't know the powerful circumstances a tragedy can occur. When they do, it might be too late.Apologies will be too late. Loving that person and caring so much about him or her will be faded. Memories will just be a dream or a thought.

Take me somewhere nice

2011-10-10T23:14:00.002+07:00

Ghosts in the photograph

never lied to me.

I'd be all of that
I'd be all of that.

A false memory
would be everything.
A denial my eliminent.

What was that for?
What was that for?

What would you do
if you saw spaceships
over Glasgow?
Would you fear them?

Every aircraft,
every camera,
is a wish that
wasn't granted.

What was that for?
What was that for?

Try to be bad.
Try to be bad.

2011-10-10T22:13:00.000+07:00

Okay so about my birthday.2 cakes. 16 cupcakes and 1 nasi lemak. Football at 12 am outside my house.

Last saturday, err johnny english with mom and dad.stayed in the hotel cause aunt has free vouncher. yup i suck at summarising but you get the picture.

Numbers & figures

2011-10-09T18:29:00.001+07:00

I'm depressed.Consistently.My mind is dead.My feelings and emotions are upside down...These months have been the worst.Not thinking straight like I used to and doing things which always end up as a wrongdoing. Even today the doctor said Why are you so sad? Just blurred out without words to say to him. Yesterday Maha planned a surprise party for me.Totally unexpected because when I reached at the makan place, 3 sets of different groups I usually mix with. Well, my head was as usual lost so I gave that shocked looked on my face then Daniel hugged me and was like what's all these? And then the cake came happy belated birthday Rudy. Finally it made sense.These people who came, I can trust. Depression is eating me up slowly..

Armor

2011-10-06T19:24:00.003+07:00

The family is changing.We're no longer 12 year olds or the ones where we would wait in the living room until our parents get back from work. No, not anymore. No more screaming or running around the house or jumping around like monkeys...no more. Everyone is so busy with their current life.After college, I'm at home and silence would be my companion. If I'm not lazy and there's a test to study,I'll make myself a coffee before bringing out the notes or I'll take a nap and then coffee haha .I do have this special thing with coffee. I really don't know how it happened but I really enjoy myself slurping slowly on my coffee. and yo, I can make my own coffee but sometimes it turned out ...well not so coffee-like..colour looks like piss...well at least it's drinkable.All good.

The siblings are mature enough to understand the consequences in life and all that stuffs so Mom doesn't need to wait for the right moment to tell us those specific 'stuff' anymore.She could just splash everything when she feels like it. She said I am the one who has that ego which is uncontrollable.She carried on that I can't control my problems and stress alone. I'm not gonna deny it but at the same time I am not gonna accept it either. Just today, my classmate from college Hui Qing said I looked like a person who has a lot of problems. I already had an answer to that question so I just said really? and smiled. Sharing problems to a person. This you gotta be cautious but if you're blind enuf not to see that your friend is a dick. You need 3D glasses .

A fact of 2011.I learned recently that I can be a good not great listener. like really good.

2011-10-02T14:54:00.002+07:00

Mat Kearney - Runaway

Mat Kearney- Ships in the Night

2011-09-30T13:04:00.002+07:00

Joe Brooks - 'Holes Inside'

64

2011-09-25T19:47:00.001+07:00

I have to say,I changed a lot. Being that 12 year old kid, pulling friends trousers while playing football hahaha.Such classic memories and today the victim are still my mates I'm getting high with. Been in a relationship? Yes I have.Left it with sore eyes and still keeping my chin up. Playful,naughty, wild..Well,I've been there.

So here, I would like to say Happy Birthday Rudy Seah. So much past,so much change.Don't let your guard down.

But the fact is I do feel like giving up,I do feel like I'm useless...but thoughts come and go.So... I let it go.

Cigarettes & Alcohols

2011-09-12T22:30:00.000+07:00

Everyone was having fun.I was like on the verge of sleeping already but the rest were energetic .This was before the raya break.

Snores

2011-09-11T17:45:00.000+07:00

Mom's big lecture again...

2011-09-10T19:59:00.001+07:00

Rosi Golan - Think Of Me

The Wombats - 1996

It's Really Nice To Meet Ya

2011-09-02T02:06:00.000+07:00

Be brave,be very brave so that you're man enough to take every hit from others. Godeaf so whatever remarks they make or words they spilled shall not be heard.
We have beautiful eyes. See what others don't see.
Whatever ''they'' said to break you,don't bother.
Whatever you like doing, do it.
Whatever noise you can make, produce it.
Enjoy life.enjoy it while you can.Make full use of it and always get ready to smile when meeting someone or when having a few laughs with family and friends.
Have music to chill.Oh yes have lots of music.Loud ones.Slow ones. Killer ones. The volume makes a difference.Trust me.
Have fresh air,water,good food, good friends(when I say good..I meant great listeners)
...Sweat yes...you bloody have to.Go jogging, climb to the highest hill at the park.Then look at the view from on top.See how beautiful it is. See the cars moving and think of the things they might be thinking or doing.

Be thankful.Be humble. Be someone weird so people noticed.Be someone supportive. Be someone who makes others laugh. Be crazy at the same time. Do the craziest shit once in awhile with friends. You're not a joke to someone. Someone can be better at you in anything. Don't let that fucking thing screw yourself badly.You'll get lost..you'll feel like giving up.Don't you ever...pause in the middle of doing sth. Everyone is facing the same thing.

Hari Raaaaaaya

2011-09-01T18:09:00.000+07:00

2011-08-31T21:41:00.000+07:00

And the sun will set for you

2011-08-31T21:38:00.002+07:00

Birdy - Skinny Love

Florence & The Machine - "Blinding"

Swimming

2011-08-31T21:37:00.003+07:00

Hey Love

2011-08-31T00:14:00.004+07:00

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, "I love you till I die"

Ticking Bomb

2011-08-29T11:58:00.001+07:00

Dissatisfaction on trying to be someone less distracted, not able to speak without any hesitations , not getting the support from peers, not getting good grades, getting fault from the wrong side of judgments by someone, getting too ego-fied in a crowd, always having the sense of regret,the bloody butterflies in the stomach when talking to someone..

Words don't easily come out from my mouth .When I think of a certain thing,the flow of words suddenly stumble,that's when I make mistakes on trying to express everything .My mind is like message bottle floating on a perfect blue sea. If I'm lucky,the bottle will slowly flow to shore and I speak .When I'm unlucky,it's approaching the other end of the sea.Then I'll be quiet haha.

Raya is coming.One week break.Ayam rendang !

2011-08-28T12:52:00.001+07:00

McFly - Transylvania

Don't, Stop, Kick

2011-08-27T23:55:00.000+07:00

2011-08-26T23:13:00.001+07:00

Call Me In the Morning - Taking Back Sunday

Strike A Violent Pose

2011-08-26T22:36:00.000+07:00

Random moments

2011-08-22T20:26:00.000+07:00

Sateish : Dude you kinda look buff .
Gan : Which part ? Klang? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2011-08-20T11:45:00.004+07:00

Foster The People - Helena Beat

Kings Of Leon - Back Down South

Gorillaz - On Melancholy Hill

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance

Snow Patrol - Called Out In The Dark

2011-08-20T11:02:00.000+07:00

Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Show & Tell

2011-08-16T20:46:00.003+07:00

We kids are rebellious.We teenagers are rebellious. Always asking for trouble but that's how it is isn't it? Like soldiers we are; brave,courageous but maybe too much of it will slowly eat our personality up. Frankly speaking we chew our words yes we chew.We chew and chew, but never learn to swallow our words. The word consequences never buoyant in the mind. They say A, we say B. They lend a helping hand but No, I do it myself I say. Some times, I often think I'm gonna face this exact scenario somehow when I'm a parent. That's when I will eventually feel so helpless but happiness can be achieved if both sides give in. Don't know how but it's like that . It has to end. Have that feeling,take it in and let it go.When the feeling slips through your hands,make sure it goes far. Far away into the sea , hopefully it reaches the horizon. The bright stars the blue skies.They'll be watching.

In Front Of You - The Quiet Kind

Calling All Angels

2011-08-15T23:54:00.000+07:00

Morrie rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "I'm bargaining with Him up there now. I'm asking Him, 'Do I get to be one of the angels?' ''

2011-08-15T20:29:00.002+07:00

Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks

Time

2011-08-14T21:58:00.002+07:00

Stolen

2011-08-14T19:03:00.002+07:00

Normally Sundays will turn out to be the ones I stay in at home .The routine goes like leaving the unfinished homework or partially finishing it, lazying like a couch potato in front of the tele and reading that specific section in the newspaper of people's problems and their nostalgia stories. Most of the time,I moan because well, the next day is a Monday. Then,I'll think about Friday and Saturday hahaha.DANGGG BUT today is a little bit different.

I woke up at 9 today and proceed with Tuesdays with Morrie after showering. When it was about 11-ish,I woke my sister up instructed by my dad and we had breakfast together.Dim Sum! The steam Hakau and Siew Mai will tickle your taste receptors and make you drool even more if you're hungry. Ryan had his Uni matters so he was left out with that excuse. Mom had her usual.She was busy entertaining kids in Sunday school.She baked muffins for the kids,stayed up around one something last night.I told them about my dream because Rox suddenly said she dreamt that our house got burnt down or sth. Quite scary but well, dreams are dreams. It pisses you off sometimes haha.

Dad told me the day before that he wanted to get a pair of shoes from Summit so we decided to go together, adding my cousin,Brenda to tag along . We added another destination into our schedule that was Empire right after getting the shoes HAHA.I've been going to that place a lot lately. I actually bought a pair of football boots (: A reasonable one since I usually use my futsal one to play football. Everything was awesome today.Having great laughs with the family during lunch and also in the car .

Friday

2011-08-13T23:34:00.001+07:00

My fridays have always been great nowadays and the last minute plans would usually add more sparks into it,leaving it with a blissful one with friends and family.

Yesterday,after college we went to the CPU building for ping pong and as the clock struck 2.30,we went to Empire. We actually sat the world tallest indoor tube slide.HAHAHA.It was one heck of a 10 seconds ride. It sounds stupid but it was well worth it when a group of friends agreed to do so. Then, the group separated. The boys went to the highest floor to play PS3. The girls...shopaholics did what they are capable of.

It was raining heavily in Subang.So thank god the jam wasn't so bad because we wanted to play football at 6.00 but it got delayed due to the light drizzle and the jam. Kinda awesome to play football with the TPD gang.There are two chinese brothers who usually plays there and the people usually forget their name. So they named the eldest China and the youngest Hong Kong HAHA.I stupidly asked why and one of the guys said because The country China is bigger than Hong Kong so I was like ''Okay..'' and laughed like nobody's business. There's another Indian dude. People call him MAMA but his actual name is Vignesh. I asked why again and the dude said because he's like the pondan in the show Big Mama hahahahaha.

After playing,sent Daniel back home and went for dinner with the family in Echo Park.Later at night Fifa 09 with the boys.That's about it.

TBS

2011-08-13T19:03:00.001+07:00

A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, Like you've been drinking jack and coke all morning. She can make you feel high, Full of the single greatest commodity known to man: Promise. promise of a better day, promise of a greater hope, promise of a new tommorow. This particular aura, can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, and in her soul. In the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's gonna be ok.

2011-08-13T09:29:00.000+07:00

2011-08-13T08:33:00.001+07:00

ANGELS & AIRWAVES -"ANXIETY"

2011-08-13T00:20:00.002+07:00

Taking back Sunday - Everything Must Go

Random

2011-08-11T16:49:00.000+07:00

Vans

2011-08-07T20:12:00.000+07:00

Howie Day - Ghost

Tears & Wine

2011-08-07T11:48:00.005+07:00

I dreamt of my late grandmother today.Erm.... I dunno how to describe it because I only just realised I did dream of her after a whole useless morning of thinking about what to eat for breakfast.Was awfully hungry.So cereal it was.
She was just staring at me for a few seconds.Then her appearance suddenly fade away slowly. I was stunned there without any words to say .I didn't move,breathe or think.My cousins were with me and I looked at them .No one saw..

I was 5.She usually sends me back to the house from the shop. So at one time. I sat at the back,wanted attention and there was an orange plastic bag.The ones people usually use for the night market. So I decided to make annoying noises with it.Rubbing it,slowly tearing it. And she was so patient,driving without looking at the rearview mirror. So failing to get any sterns looks or scolding.I kept quiet the entire journey back home.

She usually buys breakfast for the family after jogging during the weekends.I miss the way she calls Me Kok Yiong and Kok Kiong to my brother.I'm almost 18 now..It's been years.I remember how everyone made me cry because the atmosphere were so cold and sad during the funeral.I lost it.I seriously lost it.

All the effing WHYS running through my head.The bitter thoughts.I hope it melts the thick layer of ice in my head very soon.

Young Blood

2011-08-06T14:08:00.000+07:00

The whole family went to Pahang again for the Taman Aina thingy.I remain sadly.Gotta get a pair of Vans soon.VERY SOON.STUPID CONVERSE.

Young lad was talking to an uncle yesterday while playing football.The uncle was partially bald.

Young dude:Uncle! Where you cut your hair?
He went on, 'Uncle got six packs!'
HAHAHAHAHAHA